Veterans Day Reflection: Thank You, For My Service

My crew and me on my last deployment to Afghanistan

Today is Veterans Day. As you probably know, Veterans Day was originally known as Armistice Day, commemorating the end of hostilities in World War I—the Great War. The armistice went into effect at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month.

Since then, we’ve chosen to honor not only those who served in that war but all who have worn the uniform of their nation. In the United States, Congress later renamed the holiday Veterans Day. In the United Kingdom, Parliament renamed it Remembrance Day. Both commemorate all veterans who served in the uniform of their country, at any time, in any capacity.

A Challenge from a Friend

This Veterans Day, I took on a unique challenge.

A friend of mine once asked me if I felt genuine appreciation when people thanked me for my service. I immediately replied, “Yes.”

Then he asked if I had ever thanked another veteran for their service—and whether I was genuinely grateful for them. Again, I answered, “Yes.”

Then came the real question:

“Have you ever thanked yourself for your own service? And if so, were you genuinely grateful?”

That stopped me cold. I thought for a few seconds and realized I never had.

He looked at me and said, “Then it’s time you showed yourself the same appreciation you feel toward others.”

At first, the idea of thanking myself felt awkward—maybe even vain. But there’s a deeper message in that exercise. Veterans, as a group, aren’t very good at this. Maybe it’s in our DNA or tied to the mindset that leads us to serve in the first place. But why do I find it easy to appreciate others’ service and yet feel uncomfortable extending the same courtesy to myself?

What Service Taught Me

This year, I spent time reflecting on what my service meant to me.

My years in the U.S. Air Force (1999–2012) were an incredible experience—some of the best and hardest years of my life. I often describe it as “the best of times and the worst of times,” a nod to the Global War on Terror that defined much of that era. Despite the hardships, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It taught me so much.

Here are just a few of the lessons that still shape me today:

• Leadership: What good leadership—and bad leadership—looks like.

• Motivation: How to unite people behind a common cause, like the “Let’s Roll” tribute painted on our aircraft after 9/11.

• Communication: How to brief senior officers with clarity and confidence.

• Adversity: How to persevere through the scorching summer of 2006 at the height of the Iraq surge.

• Planning: How to prepare for unexpected outcomes when flying in formation.

• Calm Under Pressure: How to manage aircraft emergencies with focus and control.

• Strategy: How to think ahead and plan for operations that never came to pass.

• Process Discipline: How to follow complex steps reliably—checklist discipline saves lives.

• Initiative: How to take ownership, like training our entire squadron to accomplish something unprecedented in six weeks.

• Perspective: How to think beyond myself—like every time we evacuated a wounded soldier.

• Delegation: How to trust my loadmaster with the aircraft’s weight and balance.

• Teamwork: How to trust and be trusted by my crew when we caught each other’s mistakes.

• Accountability: How to lead a 35-ship formation when our leader broke down mid-flight.

• Integrity: How to handle moral lapses and stay true to my values.

• Example: How to set the standard by studying the regulations before making a big decision.

• Recognition: How to celebrate success—like acknowledging our maintenance teams who kept us flying.

• Release: How to blow off steam after a mission and recharge with my team.

• Pride: How to feel that deep satisfaction when returning home to families waving flags.

• Responsibility: How to own mistakes—like the day I over-torqued an engine.

• Character: How to live with integrity and never regret doing the right thing.

The Paradox of Service

So why does self-appreciation feel petty or vain?

Through reflection, I realized that the very ideals that shaped me—the commitment to service before self, humility, and accountability—can also hold us back. The paradox is this: how can you put others before yourself and still show yourself appreciation?

That’s a hard truth to wrestle with.

When I spoke with other veterans about this, they all gave me the same answer—almost word for word. Different people, different branches, different eras. The repetition told me something important: the very system that instills these values in us is also what makes self-recognition so difficult.

I believe this is why many veterans struggle to find belonging in the private sector, to build relationships, and to maintain mental health. Success in those areas requires some degree of self-love.

Yes—you read that right: self-love.

Thank You, For My Service

So this Veterans Day, I’m taking a moment to thank myself for my own service.

I wouldn’t be the leader, father, husband, son, brother, colleague, or friend I am today without it. At the same time, I recognize that the same values that led to victory in war shouldn’t hold us back in peace. To do so would betray their true purpose.

In the end, I realized the genius of my friend’s question. It wasn’t about vanity—it was about balance.

As you reflect on your own core values—Duty, Honor, Courage, Service Before Self, Integrity—don’t forget to include self-love in that list.

You owe it to the people you served with.

And most of all, you owe it to yourself.

Thank you, for my service.